The Sharks Ate My Internet

As we speak, I am sitting in a coffee shop desperately trying to squeeze some internet from their wifi teat. I have little to no internet access in my house, which is fine. I understand that life could be a lot worse. It basically means that I can't receive snapchats in my room. FIRST WORLD PROBLEM.

Anywho, the best part about this internet deficiency is the reasoning behind it. There have been some hungry sharks who have mistaken the fiber optic wires in the ocean for food; apparently they are attracted to the high voltage. It bites. There are several other potential reasons behind this internet collapse, but I choose to stick with the shark theory. Sharks are awesome and if I'm going to be without the internet, I want it to be because some bad ass sharks wanted a snack. Haven't we all been in a spot where we were so hungry we could have eaten the internet? That's what I thought. 

So believe it or not, generating a blog title is no walk in the park.  I decided to go with "Vietnammed" because it is something that happens to me daily (Also an ode to the most wonderful food ordering website known to man; more on that later).  When something out of the ordinary and Vietnam specific occurs, my friends and I commonly say that we have been "Vietnammed."  Here is a list of titles that didn't make the cut. It's still a toss up. 

-The Sharks Ate my Internet

-There's a Gecko in my Blender

-There's a Cockroach Under my Pillow

-Love Songs for Morning Glory (It's sauteed spinach and garlic, you sickos)

-There's a Vietnamese Man Pooping in the River

-The Street Cat Under my Bed

-Motorbike Anxiety 

- Banned from Two 24 Pho Restaurants: Life on the Outside

-Tales From The Backseat of a Vinasun 

-Where's my Vietjet? 

-Seeing Saigon Red

-Big Butts and Tiny Chairs

-$0.50 Beers and Other Reasons to Slowly Descend Into a Life of Alcoholism 

-Gettting Your Purse Stolen For Dummies

-Vietnammm.com: A Love Story

I could go on and on. Instead, here's a picture I snapped today at my friend's apartment. I also watched Resevoir Dogs for the first time. (Hold your gasps). I was pleasantly traumatized.  

Later alligators.