Well folks, I wish that I had a good excuse for not sitting down and writing anything in blog form for the past six months, but I don't. Every time I sit down to write, my fingers magically type N-E-T-F-L-I-X and Californication starts playing for three full hours. It's so strange. I know that you have all been sitting on the edge of your seats, chomping on your finger nails waiting for this post, so I abandoned Hank Moody for a few minutes to type some words. PS- New name, same blog. It might change at any moment, like most of my decisions.
As many of you know, I recently failed miserably at sustaining life back in the US of A. I had all of these ambitious plans to start attempting to lead a life that might get me back on that normal life timeline that is expected of us Americans, but then I just decided---once again--that it is still not for me. Simple as that. I'm not trying to shame anyone who is totally succeeding at that lifestyle. Good for you guys! It's just not my jam. Do I get semi jealous when I step into a nicely arranged, adult apartment with actual Yankee candles and a fancy coffee machine? Yep (One of my friends who has her shit together apologized to me for not having a nice enough knife to cut the food that she lovingly prepared for me with. I laughed and said, "I don't even own one knife. How can I possibly judge the caliber of knives you are providing me with?") Now, it could be argued that I didn't really give the land of the free a long enough chance to win me over this time. I didn't even wait around for the fall leaves to crunch under my feet, for the entire free world to turn into a pumpkin, or for me to get an Instagram picture at the apple orchard in my over-sized flannel.
It only took about two days of being back home to realize that I needed to go back to Asia. The reverse culture shock hit fast and hard. One major thing that really started to bug me about being home was the advertisements. I never realized how big of a problem it was until I left and came back. Everyone is trying to sell you something, and not only something, but the biggest and best something! "Do you want a cheeseburger? OK! How about we add three more patties and make it cheaper! $0.99 for four patties! Do you need a hose? Make it the biggest and most expensive one! How about a new truck? You need the flashiest one on the road! Buy today and save on a super sized fry holder! Put a down payment on new tile floors from Menards! Only $399 for six months and you get added matching curtains!" I think you probably know this about me but I don't know if I will ever be someone who puts a down payment on anything---let alone tile from Menards. Watching ads is tiring. So much of these ads stress the importance of "stuff" and I am not big on owning stuff. Even if I were into stuff, I couldn't afford it anyway...shout out to student loans!
Other weird things about being home (I'm starting to get lazy now, hence the list)
-Being able to understand what everyone is saying. Frankly, it's a burden. Especially troublesome are the conversations in which parents are screaming at their kids or when the youths are discussing anything at all...JK they just sit across from each other and text LMFAO AF
-The "no gun" stickers literally everywhere. I thought that there were places where it should just be assumed but apparently the American public has made it necessary to hang these stickers in places like the gym, the YMCA, Whole Foods,etc. I can just see all of the white suburban mothers with their handguns parading the aisles of Whole Foods in an attempt to get the last pack of gluten free pumpkin muffins.
-I was watching an ad for what I thought was a boxing match and it turned out to be a campaign ad. Is this a joke? Wait...
-The ridiculous prices. I think this is a given but holy shit! Can't a girl get a beer for less than $9 anymore?
-Talking to new people can be hard without the commonality of travel.
- "You can have a giant burrito with fries for $3 or a small salad for $25. Don't get fat though! This country has an insane standard of beauty even though we insist on feeding you crap. Look at this billboard of a model while you eat that burrito!"
-Everyone is still really concerned for my poor, single soul. When I meet up with old friends, the first question I usually get asked is, "Soooooo is there someone special? Are you nervous you won't find someone?" If I was really that worried, I wouldn't be living in Asia where white women are basically invisible garbage. Why don't you ask me something about my travel experience or my job? That would be greeeeeat.
-Friends tend to say things like, "You can never leave this country again! We are going to hang out every single day!" Upon saying this, they will require that I drive hours to see them or will never make the effort when I am home. I think me being in the country tends to be more of a comfort for people.
-Donald Trump has actually gotten this far. C'mon select American humans. You're making us look bad all over the world.
Now please don't get me wrong, there are a few foods things in America that I would be absolutely lost without. My friends and family still rock. I will never get enough of them. My dad and I walked to the coffee shop every single morning that I was sleeping at my childhood home and he is still the best person on the planet. My mom still bakes the best cookies this side of the tracks and always gets sad when I leave. It's nice having one of my brothers at home because it feels like we are back to being kids--but with beers! I love wandering in and out of taco joints around Pilsen at 3 AM to find the best guacamole, drinking beers on patios, stoops, porches with my ultimate Chicago dude crew, being able to pet strangers' Golden Retrievers without fear of contracting an illness, hiking the gorgeous mountains in Colorado, live music, kayaking with my old ultimate ladies in South Dakota, accessibility to quality cheese and meats in the Wisconsin gas stations, wandering aimlessly around Target, camping and drinking crappy college grade beer under the stars, road trips...the list goes on. However, as my good friend Emily Flanders used to say, the juice just wasn't worth the squeeze.
I have been in Ko Samui, Thailand for about a month now. You have probably seen the annoying sunset pictures. Life is simple here and that's how I like it. I drive my motorbike less than five minutes to work every day. I get to swim in the pool or in the ocean when it's not jellyfish season whenever I feel like it. I eat the shit out of all the cheap Thai food I want. I have made some stellar new friends and I even started doing Crossfit...don't worry I will never mention it again. I really love my students at the new school. It's a small school, but it feels more like the mom and pop shop to the corporation I was last at. I really enjoy working for people that are so passionate about the school.
Do I miss home? Of course I do. I even had to miss my beautiful cousin's wedding to come here. I had a good cry looking at all of the pictures. That stuff sucks and it's never easy.
Do I miss Vietnam? Of course, especially the pho, the pay, and the people. However, right now, I am somewhere new and I'm happy that I made another one of my impulsive decisions...for me, right now it is a much better choice than new tile floors.
Do I miss Vietnam? Of course, especially the pho, the pay, and the people. However, right now, I am somewhere new and I'm happy that I made another one of my impulsive decisions...for me, right now it is a much better choice than new tile floors.
Adios amigos! As always, you are encouraged to come visit me. Thailand is beautiful. See?
Don't you just love pictures of feet?
My new backyard
The real reason I can't make it in America...
Some good tunes:
http://www.npr.org/event/music/137392548/the-civil-wars-tiny-desk-concert?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=nprmusic&utm_term=music&utm_content=20160925
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxyBhnbV77E&list=PLY4gRtK2vPT2QUarsreKW1kKC0d2PPYeC
